Poem: 'On Grief'

 by Oscar Mellers


The Incredulity of St Thomas by Caravaggio


they pray for you to catch the light

like it’s something you could drop —

a whole life spent in devotion,

painting worship on like glaze

to soothe your tender skin,

shaped like St. Thomas’ body.


the residue stuck to my fingers

is the residue of holding you

tightly all those years ago.

and when I reach for the sky

to catch the tiniest glimpse

I begin to smudge


a picture lasting little more

than eternity, whilst all else

melts to a superficial

Byzantine work of art.


now, holding you calls

a funeral procession

of the whispered hum of wheels

and caustic engine crackle —

a full rotation just to see the grey

made white through the kiln.


but when I spy through your shiny

glaze, I embrace stories of naivety.

perhaps not as pure as St. Tom,

instead a yixing teapot,


and the closer I get, 

the more I can smell

the remnants of experience.


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