Shark vs Vending Machine

 by Rowan Reddy

What do you think is more dangerous, a vending machine or a shark? If you’re one of the 51% of the population who find sharks scary, you’d lean towards the second option. However, vending machines cause more than five times the amount of deaths as sharks every year. There are many similar facts floating around the Internet, often in conjunction with shark-positive posting - you’re 45 times more likely to be bitten by a New Yorker than a shark, falling coconuts kill over thirty times the amount of people than sharks do, et cetera. Despite these encouraging numbers, though, the public perception of sharks remains overwhelmingly negative. This can be shown by a particularly grim statistic - ten humans are killed by sharks every year, worldwide, while humans kill a hundred million sharks, mainly to boil their fins into soup and discard the rest of the corpse. This relentless hunting has driven one in three shark species to the brink of extinction.

Sharks have a fascinating, often overlooked, history - they evolved from primitive jawless fish called ostracoderms (shell-skins) with strangely flattened bodies and wide mouths, all of which were about the size and colour of a slice of toast. The earliest sharks were odd creatures with strange arrangements of teeth and jaws, seemingly Nature’s failed experiments - Helicoprion with its buzz-saw whorl of teeth designed to slip ammonites out of their carapaces, Stethacanthus with its tooth-studded skin, and, later, the mammoth Megalodon, all spring to mind. However, they soon rose to become top predators in the Ordovician ocean, and have only ever been dislodged from this position by humans themselves. 

In fact, sharks hold the record for various animal accomplishments - the shortfin mako has reportedly reached speeds of almost 50 miles per hour, making it the one of the top ten fastest animals on the planet. 

Megalodon tooth compared to
two Great White shark teeth

Returning to prehistoric sharks, the Megalodon is one of the largest animals to ever swim through the ocean, reaching around twenty metres in length, and seventy tons in weight (compare this to the great white shark, reaching a comparatively puny five metres as an adult). Despite these feats of predatory skill, most sharks today are relatively shy and retiring - the whale shark, which is by far the largest known fish species, has never been seen pupping. From the knowledge that they are sharks, and extremely large ones at that, you would assume them to be dangerous - however, whale sharks are notoriously docile and playful, often swimming close to and being petted or fed by humans. Unfortunately, the whale shark’s already small population is being decimated by needless bycatch killings and the impact of fisheries on its main food sources. 

There are many sharks like the whale shark - harmless, yet misrepresented species. My favourite ‘friendly’ shark is the angel shark, which, as the name suggests, is a delight to encounter. In appearance, they are like a rug with a mouth and two small eyes, and live up to their carpet-like appearance by sticking close to the seafloor. They can often be found as petting animals in aquariums, and are robust and happy to be patted. Unfortunately, this shark, once common around the British Isles, has declined by 80% due to, again, human activity. You might be noticing a trend. Like I said at the beginning of this article, humans are more dangerous to sharks than sharks are to humans, but, despite this, they are continually seen as a dangerous threat that needs to be eliminated. Hopefully, this article has helped to make your perception of sharks more positive.