Self-Acceptance in Teenage Girls

 by  Poppy Walker

Have you ever felt bad about yourself for what felt like no reason?

Why do you feel bad about yourself?

Do you feel like other people’s opinions on yourself seem to matter more than your own?

In this blog I am going to express my feelings on self acceptance and how teenage girls are able to express themselves without feeling judged by their peers. 

For a long time now, I have realised just how much other people's opinions can affect how I view myself. Not only someone's views on me affect me but also how they view my friends and family. For the people I love and spend time with to be judged also affects the way I view myself just as much as when someone judges me.

An example of this is recently I was told that my relationship wasn't going to work out with someone due to the fact that we had “different friends”. This upset me because they were implying that their friends were “cooler” than mine or simply “better”. This may seem rather insignificant and “petty” but during the time it really upset me and made me feel unwanted and hurt. I have now realised that I don’t need to constantly be pleasing other people but what is most important is that I am and continue to be happy in myself. 

Yes, people’s opinions are important and do help in many circumstances, but it is important to realise the difference between constructive criticism and negative judgment. It is also key that you realise who is providing the information that you may take to heart. If the person has been in your life for a long time and you have built up a strong relationship, then I would advise you to trust their judgment and take into account what they are saying to you as it is probably to help you.

Teenage girls are among the worst critics who constantly judge each other and in most cases, are not afraid to tell you how they feel, even if it isnt to you directly. I have been in many situations when I have overheard someone talking badly about someone behind their back and I, myself have spoken badly about people without them initially knowing. This often upsets me as I believe that if you feel so passionately about something that you can openly share it to someone else then you should say it to the relevant person's face. It gets you nowhere when you talk badly about people without them knowing as all it does is make you look bad and in the wrong. Another thing it does is it makes the person feel awful about themselves as they feel like their peers are constantly judging them for the smallest things even when they potentially are not. Furthermore, it makes you feel bad too.

To help with self acceptance I believe that one should surround themselves with people who believe in you and want the best for you. However, it is hard to find those sorts of people in life. To find the right type of friends is hard but once you do it is the best feeling. Simply knowing that you can totally be yourself around people is amazing. It is also necessary in life to try and be the friend that you would want to have. This way, you would become what you accept to see in your friends, therefore being a better person and being able to see if your friends treat you in the same way. Not only does this make you feel better about yourself but also it allows you to see what a good friend looks like and makes you able to see the good in others. Friends are just as important as family in my opinion as you see them just as much, if not more than your family - at school for example. That is why making good friends is so important because you have to see them every day at school or in the workplace.

Whenever I used to feel like people were judging me, I felt like disappearing and completely escaping the situation. However, people often judge others when they feel jealous of them or intimidated by them in some way. So, now when I feel judged I try to take it as a compliment. 

Not only does peer judgment occur in person but it does, just as much, happen online. This causes many issues between friends and peers as they feel that they can't escape it.

For me, social media has helped me to maintain friendships, especially over lockdown and times where I couldn't see my friends. Although, for many people the internet can fuel abuse and judgment. To avoid this, girls should try not to send negative messages about people as  it will only cause issues between friends and will inevitably lead to them feeling worse about themselves. 

In conclusion the main things to take into account from this blog are: to surround yourself with people that make you feel happy and good about yourself, to try not to talk badly about others and to feel confident in yourself because if you look confident, people will be less likely to judge you.