Teaching as a Member of the LGBTQ+ Community

 by Lucy Albuery

I had the privilege of sitting down and talking to the incredible Miss Bolton, who has been pastoral and Latin at PGS for the past six years. We discussed how her life, both in and out of teaching had been affected by her identity as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. 

 So, what’s it like teaching at PGS?

I love teaching at PGS, it gives me a tremendous amount of freedom. I am part of the Ignite! program and teach pastoral curriculum, which is a real passion of mine. I love discussions around relationships and sexuality, to create an open dialogue in school and in society. I think it is really important that we’re opening up those conversations, but I never want to make students feel ‘wrong’ if they are prejudiced, it’s up to me to bring out their best.  

 What has teaching been like in other schools?

When I first started teaching, schools were subject to section 28, a law that meant schools couldn’t “promote” homosexuality.  The law was introduced to encourage a “standard, normative family life with one dad and one mum”, particularly in primary schools. Being at school at that time was scary, because what it covered was very wide, and a teacher,  parent or pupil could complain about even a nuance of ‘promotion’.  Life was made very difficult for the gay teaching community at that point. I taught pastoral then too, but it was much more about politics and citizenship. It was very liberating when section 28 was rescinded.  

 I taught in a Muslim school in Southall, London for 5 years. The attitudes of the parents were very traditional and patriarchal.  It was around the time of 9/11 and 7/7 so people were very jumpy, particularly the police.  As a school we tried hard to balance more progressive ideas with the traditional Islamic views of many of the parents, some of whom weren’t happy that we sat boys and girls together in class. I think balancing ideas and being able to exist with people of different viewpoints is incredibly important. Different opinions are completely fine as long as they do not promote violence or are comdemnatory.

 Then I moved to a boy’s state grammar school. The school was very accepting, I took over from a teacher who had transitioned but I wasn’t ‘out’ in school. I never felt like I ‘had’ to be; I think because it was a single sex school it meant the boys were really supported in an emotional way- they could be vulnerable and were fully accepted for who they were. I also never wanted to use my sexuality as a label or identifier. 

 How has your sexuality impacted you in teaching, particularly at PGS?

When I applied for the job at PGS I was very clear about my sexuality all through the application process. I had reached a point in my life where I thought it was really important to stand my ground, my sexulaity is a part of me and I’m not willing to hide nor do I need any external affirmation about it. 

I think that openness is so important in teaching, particularly in the more pastoral side. I have often questioned myself about how can I expect pupils to be as honest as possible and tell me what's going on when I can't be honest with them?

 I went to one of the Pride talks at school where Dan Frampton was relaying his experience of ‘coming out’ on a channel 5 programme.  I remember there were quite a lot of girls in the audience. One of them stood up to ask a question and she was irate and stated: “it’s all well and good that we have all these male role models, but there are no female ones.” I looked down the row I was sitting on and in my own mind was demanding that someone step up to this.  My next question was “why am I asking who's going to do this when I’m sitting here?” So, the next Thursday I gave a talk on my sexuality. Shortly before that I had come out to my tutor group who were in year 9 and we used to do talking circles and pass a stick around the circle to share what was going on. I asked the tutor to pass the stick back to me and told them I was a lesbian. I think they thought I was going to tell them I was sick or retiring, so they were thrilled about the outcome. My tutor group came to hear my talk and I felt very supported by them. I hope that the talk went part of the way to rebalance the representation of gays and lesbians in school.  Doing that talk was a very liberating experience.

 What has being a lesbian outside of teaching looked like for you?

The first time I noticed it I was 11 and I remember thinking “I’m female, she’s female I’ve got to do something about this.” But even then I thought it was more about falling in love with the person than any other factor. I never had positive role models around me, however my mother had many bohemian friends. I was about 16 and I went to a party once where I met two lesbians.  They were Swedish artists.  I was fascinated, but I still never addressed my own sexuality, and definitely never spoke about it. There was a weird push me pull me effect at that time, where on one side I was in a culture that was becoming much more open and in a family and space that was very welcoming, but still in myself I was struggling. 

 What does life outside of school like for you at the minute?

Well it’s quite stressful at the minute, we're in the process of moving my partner's mother into a home because she’s taken a few falls. Our dog’s been quite poorly so I’ve been sleeping downstairs because she needs to be let out a lot at night. But we celebrated 10 years together last week. We became handfasted 10 years ago.  Handfasting is a pagan ceremony, like a marriage, but you only make a commitment for a year and a day and at the end you consider “is love still present?” and if it is you go on for another year.

 And what’s your final rallying cry that you want people here to remember above all else?

Something a teacher said to me when I was at school comes to mind, that the only thing we need in the world is kindness. Every single one of us is a human being, and all human beings are the same in how they respond to kindness. The kindness to accept a person just as they are, no matter what, creates the inclusivity we yearn for. Kindness transcends labelling and branding, it transcends everything.