Does the Patriarchy Actually Benefit Men?

 by Louisa McKay 

The patriarchy is a term to describe a society in which men hold most of the power while women are somewhat excluded from any form of decision making and, as much as nowadays it’s seen as an issue from the past, I would argue that our society is simply rooted in the patriarchy. To this day, it's socially accepted that women will change their surname when they marry, now this is of course a seemingly harmless tradition, however, the reason for this name change is rooted in misogyny and patriarchy. The woman was thought to be leaving her family to become her husband's property, so she needed to have the same name as him. Similarly, young girls are told that if a boy is mean to them then he ‘must like them’, another seemingly harmless thing to say to a child, however, this can instil a belief in them that being mean equates to love, meaning, without early intervention, girls will grow up to believe this and tolerate abuse from men, because it means they love them, this further elevates men to a position of social superiority. These are two rather cynical, yet modern, examples and despite the patriarchy having less societal power nowadays I still think that it has very negative impacts on all members of society and doesn’t actually benefit men as much as it's first thought to. 

The way in which we are conditioned to view boys and girls when they grow up can be very damaging to boys as they enter into their teenage and then adult years. Positions of power in the UK are still heavily occupied by men - this may be seen as a positive as boys have many people, just like them, who have had successful careers however this could instil an ignorance within them as they may believe that women are simply incapable of having successful careers like the ones they aspire to have because of the lack of representation. In the past, the patriotic society had more damaging impacts on children than it does nowadays - children often feared their fathers as they were seen as the head of the family, as more of an authoritative figure, rather than a loving and nurturing parent - equally the father was often valued more than the mother as he was the ‘breadwinner’ which further elevated the males in a child's life to an unreachable level for females, times have of course changed and dads are no longer seen as the ‘head of the family’, however, it's still widely accepted that, when children are young, dads will work and mums will stay at home - this has of course been changing with the recent introduction of ‘paternity leave’, however, children still grow up with their dads going out to work and their mums staying home. 

This can create a lot of issues with how children assign stereotypes in the future - if all a young boy sees is his dad coming home from work he may feel under immense pressure to follow in his footsteps as to ‘fit in’ despite not necessarily wanting to. Finally, the idea that men are the strong, stoic, tough ones within a family projects a damaging message onto boys growing up as it teaches them that they shouldn’t speak about their feelings because then they wouldn't fit the mould of a ‘proper man’, it would be much more beneficial for dads to be on a level with mums in a caring way so boys have more positive role models for their mental health in the future where they feel comfortable speaking about how they’re feeling without being ‘less of a man’. 

Arguably, the patriarchy holds men to a much higher standard than it does anyone else - now as this, of course, comes with numerous benefits, it could also be indirectly damaging to men. They could feel under a certain pressure to achieve more in a smaller space of time, potentially much more pressure than their female counterparts may feel, simply because they’re a man, they should be doing well anyway - this can lead to a lack of feeling of achievement, if they’re always feeling as though they should be doing more they may never feel content with their work, it could also mean that they end up disliking whatever it is and they may be doing simply because of the immense pressure they’re being put under. 

Equally, I don't think that, intrinsically, men gain masses from the sense of social superiority they are given as it could lead to the ignorant belief that they should be promoted simply because they are a man - this belief is not completely the fault of the man, as men are made out to be superior in society by default - however, if this belief becomes ingrained in men then the prejudice against women in the workplace will be ever-worsening. On the flip side - females may feel under pressure to carry male characteristics within the workplace to feel in more power, examples such as the Priti Patel bullying case, her aggressive nature within the government could be seen as a product of the patriarchy as she may feel she needs to be ‘more manly’ for her voice to be heard in a male dominated environment, this, of course, is no justification for the blatant bullying which has been going on behind closed doors, however, it may shed a bit of light on the motives behind such behaviour. 

Finally, nowadays, men have the added struggle of what it means to be a ‘modern man’, as it should be, it’s now encouraged that mothers and fathers are equally as present in their child's upbringing - this is a step in the right direction however gives another angle to the juggling act most men find themselves in. We are being presented with the idea of the ‘modern man’ - this simply means men are being pulled in two opposite directions. From modern day society, they’re told to be present for their children yet the underlying message is that men should be the breadwinners who are tough, strong and stoic.

From a mental health point of view, the impacts, on men, of a patriotic society are much more severe than they may first seem - obviously, the benefits of the patriarchy must fuel men's mental well being because they’re elevated to a higher societal power - so why wouldn't they be happy? I would argue that a patriotic society has negative effects on men's well being - societal power and status comes with responsibility - so as men are elevated to this position of societal power they feel as if they must fit into certain categories which got them into that position in the first place - the stereotypes that surround men clearly link to the idea that speaking up if you're struggling is weak so makes you ‘less of a man’ so does it come as a surprise that suicide is the biggest killer of men in the UK? 

Equally, if a man were to reach out for support for whatever reason, there is a high chance that they are made to feel ‘stupid’ or ‘weak’ for doing this, and after this has happened enough times it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where the belief that asking for help is weak is then ingrained in them.

There is no doubt about the fact that the patriarchy disproportionately benefits men. However, this is simply on the surface - if you look deeper into the implications of a patriarchal society for most males in the UK, the benefits aren’t as prolific as they first seem, of course, females are much more disadvantaged by this kind of society, however lots of work still needs to be done to ensure men aren’t similarly disadvantaged by this sort of society