Throwing Away The Script On Mental Health

 by Annabel Heaton

In recent years mental health has become significantly more recognised in the younger and older generations, with services becoming more accessible for all, but also with the stigma of having a mental health issue or struggling with mental health becoming more reduced within society. 

However, this does not mean people do not still struggle with going to get help from societies such as Mind, CALM, YMCA dialogue etc. What we must do, as friends or family, for someone struggling is use our personal connection with someone in need to normalise talking about mental health. 

We are all guilty of the “scripted approach”, which, as I have researched, it is what people do when they are unaware of how to deal with a situation or how to sympathise. This is OK! No matter what age or position you are in, it is normal to feel as if you are walking on eggshells talking to someone in need. However, what we must do is revert from the “script” we follow. This “script” I speak of is the typical, “I know how you feel, when I was in that position I felt…” or “I’m sure we all feel that way”. This needs to stop! This is a completely human and valid response; however, this causes people to feel generalised and irrelevant, making them feel as if they aren’t special enough to feel a certain way. 

We must engage on a human level, not using a script. Research has shown the more you relate back to the person as an individual the more likely they are to feel as if people are listening, which decreases the feeling of frustration and invalidity. We all experience mental health in different ways. It isn’t like a broken leg; there are many ways to feel and many ways to deal with things. 

There is no right or wrong. However, due to this “no right and wrong” approach, we must be careful about what we say and how we act in posting things that we see on social media, such as “How to relieve anxiety in 10 minutes.” Posts like this, despite having the best intentions, make people who suffer feel irrelevant and isolated. I described this “scripted” approach a cold shove away rather than a warm hug from a friend, 99% of the time done without realising. A way to think about this is, if there are multiple feelings humans can feel, why should I respond in one constant way? A doctor wouldn’t treat a broken leg the same as a heart attack, so why should you deal with mental health and emotions this way?