Village Tales: Harvest Maze Havoc

by Nina Watson




It was October and a chill was strolling through the air, dancing with the leaves who turned a shade of blush with embarrassment. As soon as she had sniffed out Autumn some weeks prior, Madge had turned to her wife Lucy in excitement and started the construction work. Now, in the field behind Mapplebottom Square, stood proudly the first ever ‘Harvest Hay Bale Maze’, all thanks to Madge. Of course being on the Mapplebottom Committee of Events and Spectacles, it was her duty to entertain her village, obviously excluding all entertainment containing whipped cream and fuzzy handcuffs – especially not after last year. The maze was six feet tall, with enchanting little gourds as decoration placed in convenient peepholes all around the walls of it, ribbons of bunting waving their colours around the outside. At the centre there would be Madge, standing happily in her tiny lookout tower, keeping a watchful eye on all the entrants into the maze. Oh she could not wait for the grand unveiling of it tomorrow, she was dreaming of it now as she poured the last drop of Cinzano into Lucy’s glass. Children would be crying for their lost parents, parents would be enjoying a coffee behind a particularly large bale and finally, after months of sneering and sniping and slandering, Madge could lob the odd toffee apple at Susan Hornslade as she ran into dead end upon dead end of hay. The joy, the fun, the excitement! If only Lucy had taken her credit card after she had purchased the glittery pink flamethrower from amazon, the maze could have been so much more interesting.. and flammable…

*
Steam curled away from her lips as Madge spooned some more pumpkin soup into her mouth, fumbling with her binoculars as she ate. She had a lovely setup in her watch tower; blankets, cushions, a chair, a selection of magazines, several orange flags for lost ‘mazers’ and a large plate of crudités that Lucy had made for her. She was having the time of her life laughing at all the villagers thinking they could conquer her maze, when suddenly she felt the burn of a gaze searing into the side of her skull. Madge whipped round, scanning the hay for signs of malice and fell into the fiery gaze of Susan Hornslade. Susan’s lip was curling, her fists clenching and her legendary lucky sweatband had yet again made an appearance around her monstrous head. There was an eyebrow raise from both women, a toss of the hair from Susan and a vicious bite of her crudités from Madge, and that was it – the game was officially on. Susan raced into the maze, snarling past Wendy and Michael Shelting, and tossing small children like bowling balls into her beautifully placed gourds. Right, left and right again. Left, left, left then right. To her horror, Susan was strutting through the maze with ease, even stopping to make sure Madge was still watching through the infrared gaze of her binoculars (which of course, she was). Madge consulted her mental map of the maze and suddenly sagged back into her lawn chair with relief. She fumbled into her bag and grabbed a small red remote with a large green button on it. Madge propped her feet on the edge of her watch tower and made sure her cameras were recording, just as Susan approached the turning with the remote controlled trap door…

Comments