In a short story, Luke Farmer explores the troubling psychological and moral consequences of the 'War on Terror'.
I turn left. I am greeted by the low hum of a wall light
close to expiring behind its plastic exterior. There is a distinctive musty
smell which penetrates my nostrils as we steadily descend the cold and colossal
corridor. It is dark and damp. I think it may be mildew which I notice in
patchy intervals, but I cannot entirely place it: it is entirely foreign to the
fresh paint and uneconomical extravagance of the upholstery of the atrium we
have just left.
As we progress further and the amount of light increases, I
become aware that the walls which enclose us like sentinels are also peppered
with mould and wear water stains as adornments. They will stand for generations
to come and yet, will never know the sunlight. We move forward, without
talking; it is stilted and awkward, I almost feel enervate.
I think back to the leather upholstery of the Range Rover and
how it felt cool to the touch; suitably cooling on such a scorching hot day,
although it had not been able to calm me or, in fact, offer any comfort at all.
My hands had still felt clammy and my shirt was starting to dampen down my
spine. The tinted windows had not allowed anyone to see in and yet it had not
prevented me from noticing the stark contrast as we had driven out of the city
and into the suburbs. I had noticed the children most prolifically: unkempt and
wild. Their dirty faces a parody of city life. They stalked one another in
their games of chase, wearing looks a mixture of determination, anger and will
power.
And yet what had drawn my attention over everything else, so
alien and foreign, had been that one white shirt hanging - amid a multitude of
other items - in a backyard, the mirror of so many others.
A terror-fuelled shriek pierces the silence and dies as
quickly as it came. We do not look at each other. We continue on towards our
destination. We know that this does not concern us. And yet, the noise triggers a memory – one I
had thought had been long since repressed, silenced by my shrink. It is a sound
reminiscent of the one my mother wailed out one winter morning. It is the noise
which had always preceded the image of my father’s limp and lifeless body,
suspended by a rope attached to the rafters in our barn; a chair lying on its
side.
I feel the stain of melancholy seeping through me as we
approach the door. Sweating more profusely now I loosen my tie a touch and hope
that it is not noticeable by both those around me and those who will watch. A
man wearing a white coat, glasses and a clipboard exits the room, everything
about him looking clinical. I think that he is the exact antithesis of this
corridor, this place. He nods towards me knowingly, confirming that all is
ready, before striding purposefully past us.
I think back to the church and my father lying in the open
coffin. Neither the civilian clothes nor
the smiling demeanour suited him. He was
not the dad who once waved good bye from the bridge of a ship, bound for
Vietnam; who had driven tanks through mine laden terrain and afterwards wore
medals for official photographs.
We pause at the door which is swiftly swung open by a
muscular and robust African-American who smiles at us faintly. Understanding
flows between us and I acknowledge this as a signal to enter. There is no time to
compose myself. There is no time to decide how I am to play out this scene.
There is no time to even shift my weight. We enter.
The interior is brighter than the corridor and I have to
squint a couple of times to adjust to the fluorescent tubes which glow
oppressively from the ceiling. I adjust
to the strange scene: on a counter to the left of me sits a heavy, metal
bucket; beside it is a brimming toolbox; a pipe wrench -its handles coated in a
blood red plastic, yet the thing which catches my attention the most is that
small pair of tweezers.
I hear a sharp intake of breath and turn to face my
objective. A chair sits minuscule amid the enormity of the room; its occupant
shifts uneasily despite the bonds which brace him. And, as I do, I am hit by the
realisation that my work is to be with, not a man, but a woman. Her shorn,
short hair I misinterpreted to signal a masculine status.
But it is not my occupation
to comment. Silence surrounds us again with his dark black cape; his companion,
Death, stands to his left shoulder - sickening and vulgar – holding his scythe
readily. An image only pierced by a hiatus of our breathing.
It is almost sad that these experiences I loathe, I detest
with all my heart, are becoming easier to digest like the acquired taste of
beer. It’s all part of the system.
I move over to the counter while the other men hover
behind. I pick up a short and savage
saw. I notice that she does not tremble
as I come towards her. It would be
easier if she did.
I ponder on the symbolism of the situation: I wonder if it
really is the Free World’s struggle against the fanatical East. We have not
even given a trial, however trivial. The case is closed: done.
Nervous adrenalin coupled with body odour
invades my senses. I see the hands flex
to tighten around the sides of the modified, hospital trolley. I exhale.
I signal for the man standing behind her to make her
ready. Deftly, he
fills the mouth with a white handkerchief and covers it in jet-black
gaffer tape.
Now it is down to me.
It is time for me to do my job.
To earn the bucks, as they say.
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