by Sienna Bentley
Forty years ago, Sweden became the first country in the world to
introduce paid paternity leave, giving both the mother and father time off to
care and bond with their child. In the UK, new fathers will receive £139.58 a
week for two weeks (the average earning per week was £538 in 2015), but can
take longer, unpaid leave. However, while it is common for men to take a couple
of days paternity leave right after birth, only the most committed and bravest
use their right to longer parental leave in places that allow it: In the UK,
40% of dads choose not to take the parental leave offered.
I’ve read some pretty scathing arguments against the idea of paid
paternity leave, some of which make my jaw drop and, controversial as it may
be, I do find it a tad shocking that some people could be as ignorant as some
of the things I have read. Of course, I think it is only the minority that are
against paternal leave: debate.org says 82% yes and 18% no. So I’m trying to
reach out to that 18%.
Yes, I agree with the fact that of course, women are the ones who have
to push an entire human being out of their bodies after carrying it around for
9 months, but the notion that the father’s only role, other than helping to
conceive the child in the first place, is to make money in order to provide for
the family is, in my opinion, somewhat flawed.
Every argument I see usually stems from the same thing: Men don’t have
to recover from giving birth. Obviously this is true, but it is also true that
they still face a lot of the same issues that women do after having a newborn
child. Yes, the woman is going to probably be twice as tired as her partner and
naturally therefore should be given a longer amount of time off than the
father, but realistically, both parents are usually living under the same roof,
which in turn means that both parents are looking after the baby. Due to this,
it is not just the mother, but both parents who will be kept awake at
night by a crying, hungry baby. Just because the partner didn’t push the child
out, doesn’t mean the baby doesn’t affect them. Both parents will see the
effects of fatigue and as a result, the father’s work will suffer should he
still have to go into work every day.
To add to this, having the father at home is reported to have
significantly improved the mother’s health and wellbeing. An analysis of data
from an English National Maternity Survey on more than 4,000 women found that
mothers whose partners had taken no paternity leave were more likely to report
feeling ill or unwell at three months, and mothers with more than one child
whose partners took no leave also reported much higher rates of postnatal
depression.
Furthermore, it can be argued that the early morning and evening are not
long enough in the day for the father to bond with his child. Dads who play
with their kids from day one not only boost their child's physical and mental
development significantly, but these fathers also suffer from less stress.
Experts suggest that by maintaining a hands-on involvement with their children
through the toddling years, fathers can strike up a relationship that will help
them and their children combat later issues such as depression. This greater
sharing of the hands-on caring during and beyond paternity leave can improve
relationships as couples. In Sweden, couples in which the father took more than
2 weeks to care for their first child were found to be 30% less likely to
separate.
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