by Eleanor Barber
Contrary to the belief that praising children will improve
their self esteem and their want to learn, in some cases it can actually be
detrimental to the two aspects and can even lead to children seeing certain
praises as a punishment instead.
I recently found out that people who are particularly prone
to procrastination are children who grew up either with unusually high
expectations put on them or exhibited
talents early on and then after when they started to do average it was met with
concern from teachers and parents. These factors can lead to people especially
older children, who are still in a learning environment such as teenagers ,
being very self critical of their work even if they got one of the top marks because they should have "done
better". "Gifted
students" from as early as reception can exhibit signs of low self esteem
and persistence after a setback.
The solution to have
adults who are less likely to procrastinate is relatively simple but it starts
very early in the persons life, as soon as they start to understand others
around them. The solution is to tell
them that they worked hard, not that they did good at the certain things due to
their intelligence or their talent. Intelligence and talent are innate skills, that
people have no control over, however with hard work and determination they can
become better than people who viewed themselves as being talented in the field.
"Gifted children" tend to count their intelligence or talent as a trait
and as something they can't change whereas the children praised for effort see
intelligence differently and as something that can be improved upon.
Research by Dr Carol
Dweck has shown that when emphasis is
placed on effort instead of talent, it's
easier for a child to see mistakes as a learning opportunity, rather than
something they will never be good at. Children who were praised for their
effort had a more open mindset and were willing to do more challenging work
than children praised for their intelligence, who were reluctant to put
themselves in situations where they could fail or even simply not be the best
in the particular field. "Gifted children" often see failure as the
end of the world and have difficulty overcoming failures and continuing with
the certain thing they are trying to do, this is due to the fact unlike their
peers who were praised for effort they find it hard to see that they can learn
from their mistakes so do not try to do things outside of their comfort zone. The children who were praised for effort
liked to compare their results with people who got higher scores so they could
learn from their mistakes. This is contrary to the children praised for their
intelligence who compared their scores with children who scored lower so that
they reassure themselves that they were still good.
This does not necessarily stop in childhood but can carry on
until university and even later on in life because adults praised for
intelligence do not ask for help because they feel like they are meant to be
smart and to know all the answers, so aren't sure what to do when they need
help as they didn't like to ask for help as young children. Although there is no evidence that "gifted children" experience more anxiety and depression disorders they are being
particularly prevalent in children and "gifted students" who spend
more time inside doing homework due to pressure put on by themselves than
outside may be particularly vulnerable due to an increase of social isolation.
In conclusion children who are praised for their hard work
instead of their talents tend to do better after a setback, thus being less
likely to procrastinate and exhibit less signs of low self esteem than children
who were praised for their effort.
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