Learning to Walk

by Holly Lawrence

If you plant an apple pip, the new tree will bear apples that are completely different to the one the pip came from.

The time in which we gain independence is one of the scariest for parents. When we start to respond to an opinion with a contradictory one, when we begin to cross the road without a hand to hold and show characteristics picked up from external causes; causes aside from our parents. Of course, it’s a time which is always looming upon us, but when it actually arrives it takes many people by surprise. To the child, it’s difficult to understand why parents don’t see things the way you do, however parents have to try and get their heads around raising a child in a certain way, only for them to act completely differently.

At first, we’re taught essentials such as walking and speaking. Dialect is picked up from parents, accents and certain vocabulary, however a school environment can quickly increase something stupid like the frequency of the word ‘like’ appearing in a sentence; this is something neither child nor parent truly understand, but it happens, like, a lot. Music tastes develop, talents appear and we all discover what we’re bad at; we change. Teenage rebellion is a whole target market for many bands, television shows and books because it unites the young and separates them from the older.

From the perspective of a parent, what must that be like? Losing control, watching the person you raised begin to raise themselves. They begin to make some mistakes you made and some you avoided, they act like you at times but they’re completely different because this is a different time and a different person. It seems a little bit hard to believe. It might scare you, make you stricter, confuse you, is that why we argue? Being responsible for a life you’re losing control over must bring about a lot of pressure, but is it handled in the best way?

Adults were once young. It may sound stupid to reiterate that but it’s easy to forget. However, the word young doesn’t sum up the attitudes, the environment nor the upbringing. They were young but they were brought up in a completely different world. It could have been in the same house you live in now, but even the lack of a mobile phone or the same typical places for teenagers can change an outlook. It could be one event, it could be many small events, but they’re not going to have the same view on everything as you. It’s not just between parents and teenagers, the fact that no two people can ever share the exact same experience leads to the butterfly effect and then onto a completely different mindset and outlook.

 Morality and virtues are completely independent and learnt, but everything applies to both parents and their children. They may get annoyed at us for getting things wrong and that may seem unfair, but we get just as annoyed at them for what we think they’ve done wrong. Communication is one of the trickiest things for us to grasp because it’s about understanding the other person using only what you know about them and what they tell you. In fact, it’s all but impossible, They’re different people, but so are children. As aforementioned, they’re the people who helped you stand on your two feet and now you’re running with it. Sometimes, you stumble and they may scorn you for running too fast but it was them who taught you how to walk in the first place. They’re the ones who taught you, why aren’t they encouraging you anymore? The truth is that quite often they want to encourage you, but they’re thinking about the times when they ran and fell. That’s not always the case, but it quite often takes a memory to make a moral.

“Knows not where he's going to, isn't he a bit like you and me?” - Nowhere Man, The Beatles