It’s a Team Game!

by Charlie Albuery

For those of you who don’t know me I’ve never been good at team games. Due to a mixture of poor co-ordination and general loneliness as a child I never played football; attempting it later in life I discovered it was just as well I never tried – I played like a dyspraxic yeti on a hotplate with a tremor, in both hands, wearing a mask and moon boots…. I think you get the point.
Anyway I digress.
I was never good at team games, but I consider myself the expert at THE team game, so, in an attempt to make something I’m actually good at popular (competitive falling over never really caught on) I am publicising ‘The Team Game’ along with a few, hopefully, entertaining examples for your enjoyment and contemplation.
I think we’re on to the next football….
 The Team Game’ – The Rules
You will need three people (2 players and a judge)…… and a large amount of tedium
1 – The judge picks a scenario and a pool of characters from which to choose
2 – Each player chooses their ‘team’ based upon the criteria and has 2 minutes to justify their choice
3 – The judge decides the winner (although it is nearly always painfully obvious who has won)
So, for example, as the judge, I could say ‘Choose three Disney characters you would choose to help you survive the zombie apocalypse’. Given that topic, my team would be:
-          Hercules (that’s how they spell it in the film!)
-          Baloo (haha I have a bear)
-          Jessica Rabbit (requires no explanation)
Or I could say ‘You open a petting zoo with three creatures from film’:
-          Gizmo from ‘Gremlins’
-          A wookiee
-          Falcor the luck dragon
Or ‘Create a family from film: Parents and child siblings’
-          Liam Neeson in ‘Taken’
-          Sarah Connor from ‘Terminator’
-          Dash from ‘The Incredibles’
-          And of course, Scarlett Johanssen, in anything…
How about a personal favourite? ‘You killed a man. Choose your legal team of TV characters’
-          Sherlock (Cumberbatch, not Tommy Lee Cooper… Obviously)
-          Harvey Spectre
-          Jeff Winger
Now, if you disagree with me, (a) You’re wrong and (b) please leave a comment on your better choices or (c) even come up with a great topic that needs sharing (What? Pushing for comments? Me? Never…)
So, blogistas (sounds a bit girly), blogites (a little cult-y?), bloginators (got it!), I implore you, if only for the reasons stated above; spread this game, it’s great fun, and inspires some great debate. My 20-minute argument with my father over who is more likely to bite off a man’s arm in a petting zoo out of Chewbacca and Sully is to this day the most open and communicative we have ever been.

So, my friends, I leave you with perhaps my favourite topic of all:
‘The Top 3 Fictional Canadians’:
-          Wolverine (duh)
-          Barney Stinson (but only a quarter on his father’s side)
-          William Shatner (no one that obnoxious can be real)


  1. Jessica Rabbit isn't a disney character!

  2. Disney purchased the rights to 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit?' in 1981

  3. My legal team of TV characters would be:
    -Peter Griffin
    -Forrest Gump


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