Saturday, 24 November 2012

Ten Love Stories Which Are Better Than 'Twilight'

by Hugh Summers

There are at least 10 love stories better than this one

When I was trying to come up with an idea for the article, I searched in the deepest darkest parts of the internet for inspiration. I turned to the blog itself and remembered Tom Harper's article on meme theory. I thought of perhaps mimicking the idea behind it, until I was reminded of the recently released Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 2. I am not sure whether many of you reading this are familiar with the “Still a better love story than Twilight” meme, and, if not, I will explain. The idea behind it is to simply take an unsatisfactory or awkward love affair or relationship and simply add the words “Still a better love story than Twilight”. Generally I have found these profoundly amusing and have therefore decided to come up with my very own “Ten love stories better than Twilight”.
10. Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky.
Being only one at the time, I had a limited amount of self-awareness, let alone knowing about a scandal which caused such a blow to Bill Clinton’s reputation (although, bizarrely, his popularity with the American people actually increased after the affair was revealed). Yet, if we compare such a frivolous love affair to that of Edward and Bella’s, we can certainly say that we may be more tolerant of the President of the United States having a scandalous relationship with Ms Lewinsky than of watching a guy who has cold skin compete with a guy who has hot skin over a girl who appears to have only one facial expression.
9. Donkey and Dragon.
It appears to come as a match made from heaven: a Donkey and a Dragon; who would have thought it? Now, I’m not sure what the creators of Shrek were thinking when matching a donkey with a dragon, especially when they later claimed that the tentatively-named “dronkeys” were created. Yet, it must be said, dronkeys are remarkably cute, far cuter than the baby Edward and Bella produce.
8. Luke and Leia.
Yes, even incest is a better love story than Twilight. So they shared a kiss, so what? I still find it less creepy than a one-sided crush between a werewolf and a baby. Plus, their brief encounter is definitely overshadowed by the fact that Star Wars in general is just awesome.

7. Scat and His Acorn
I’m sure many of you reading this have watched Ice Age, and, if so, waited at the end of the film, sat through the credits, just to see the short Scat sketch at the end. Whether he’s dragging the acorn from an ice shelf hundreds of feet high, causing it to collapse, or frozen in a block of ice and trying to reach for it, he and his nut make quite the comedy duo. I, for one, had no idea that something could love an acorn so much.

6. Marty Mcfly and his Mother.
Some of you might find it strange that there is a recurring theme of incest; I assure you it is simply coincidence, allthough it does bring up a somewhat worrying topic in that I’m only on my fourth point and have already come across two cases of (almost) incest in film.
5.  Gollum and the one ring.
Of course, I couldn’t make it through this article without mentioning The Lord of the Rings; it’s filled with passionate tales of love and beauty. Yes, I have decided to choose the love between a mutated Hobbit and an inanimate object, yet I am still more compelled to feel emotion for the couple as they tumble to their imminent deaths towards lava over two pasty Americans whose idea of a dramatic and life-threatening situation is being smelt by another pasty American who decides they want to drink the others' blood.
4. Chris Brown and Rihanna
I have heard recently that Chris and Rihanna have decided to get back together. I can’t really provide any  reason other than insanity as to why she has decided to get back together with him. Anyway, let’s move away from my opinions on the odious Chris Brown and back to how this relates to Twilight. At least neither of them comes out with stuff like this: “His fingers were ice-cold, like he’d been holding them in a snowdrift before class. But that wasn’t why I jerked my hand away so quickly. When he touched me, it stung my hand as if an electric current had passed through us.” Yes, that is genuinely a quote from the book.
3. Sheldon Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler.
Of course, I couldn’t omit this couple from the list; those of you who watch Big Bang Theory would have most likely grown to love the Shamy (an abbreviation of Sheldon and Amy, if you weren’t sure). The two seem like a match made from heaven. Both have stunted social skills yet, as the series progress, we see Amy come to gain more and more social knowledge through her impressive character development, leaving us with quite the comedy duo. Amy yearns for Sheldon’s affections while he continues to have a lack of understanding of what a relationship actually involves. Yet they entertain me. But I can’t say that Bella and Edward don’t amuse me, as they allow me the enjoyment of silently judging poor script-writing and, generally, a fairly bland storyline.
2. Wall-E and Eve.
Possibly one of the greatest love stories created in film. To me, they represent everything that love should represent. All they need to do to communicate is to say each other’s name, yet they still manage to convey a sense of emotion. Possibly one of the most obscure of relationships, yet at the same time, one of the most touching.
1. Every single love story, ever.
I hope that any of you Twilight fans don’t take that statement too literally; I just hope I have made my point. I’m fairly sure that if you thought of two objects, people, pretty much anything, and connected them on an emotional level, you would achieve a love story which is better than that of Twilight. Obviously that is my opinion; it may or may not be a widespread opinion but it is an opinion none the less. Overall, I hope you enjoyed the article and didn’t take too much offence and, if you did, feel free to mention it in the comment section below.


  1. OMG, just <3<3<3 scat and his acorn!!!!

  2. hilarious .. thats so true

  3. twilight is good, espically the last one, but i still agree with ur points

  4. NEW CHALLENGE- 10 love stories worse than Twilight

  5. Isn't every love story better than twilight??

  6. every love story is better than twilight even Drake and Rhianna

  7. Jonathan Furniss21 March 2013 at 14:51

    Oh wow... Made me laugh so hard it hurt! :D


Comments with names are more likely to be published.